"We're dating!" Simon Cowell and Carmen Electra nip in and grab the "weirdest celebrity couple of 2012" award

Simon doesn't appear to have realised that you should never acknowledge a relationship before Christmas, or you have to buy them a present. That's the rule

All Simon needs is a white beard and Santa hat...

Fheads, Simon Cowell, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Niall Horan and Cameron Diaz all block out the 14th of February and hang out together, burping the alphabet and watching celebrity sex tapes for giggles.

So we imagine that George and Co are going to be pretty disappointed to learn that Simon probably won't be attending this year.

BECAUSE HE'S DATING CARMEN ELECTRA.

"She's not my girlfriend. We're people who date. She's adorable, isn't she?" The 53-year-old confessed to Ryan Seacrest on Wednesday, after rumours surrounding the pair's relationship reached a bit of a peak last week.

Simon met Carmen when she filled in for Kelly Brook on Britain's Got Talent a couple of years ago, and the pair got along so well that they've reportedly been seeing more and more of each other - and were allegedly spotted making out in a restaurant in LA early in the autumn.

"He's so cute. He is adorable," admitted Carmen, who's obviously not been chatting to Cheryl Cole recently. "He's actually a sweetheart... I really liked him. I think he's really cool."

"Now, obviously, he's in [Los Angeles] with X Factor and we started to hang out and we became friends ... I think he's a great guy"

Simon Cowell and Mezhgan Hussainy were engaged. Then they weren't

Carmen was previously married to Dave Navarro, and has reportedly dated Joan Jett too. Simon's last engagement to Mezghan Hussainy ended last year.

Oh, in case you were wondering, Carmen is 1.60m tall, while Simon is 1.75m.

Which is the most important thing in any relationship.